I don’t know if it’s just jetlag, or that I’ve worked my arse off too much lately. Or that all these cities are starting to look the same.

But right now, even if it’s just briefly, for the first time since I was sixteen and first got on a plane, I’m now feeling very far from home.

Okay, so I’m in a plane from London to Copenhagen, reading through a whole bunch of posts from EC bloggers in preparation for a couple of presentations that I’m doing, and I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “What wouldn’t Jesus do?” and trying to ignore the eyes that I get when people read it, and I realise something.

I’m fed up.

Okay so I believe that the lesboes, the fatties, moozies, the single dads and the atheists, those that fuck, those that say “fuck” and those that say “fuck” when referring to God have a place in this world, have something worthwhile to say about what (the fuck) is really the right way to live, and I have to defend my point of view to other Christians.

Fuck that shit man.

From now on if you don’t embrace certain groups of people you have to defend that position to me. It’s not my job anymore. If your religion says that some people are in God’s favour over others then you have to work out to me why that is the case, because for Christ’s sake I don’t get it, and I don’t want to get it.

Okay so I’m a Universalist. Not that  believe there are many paths up the one mountain. I believe there is no mountain. Jesus died, didn’t he? I mean, is that right, isn’t that one of the most important points about the whole God and Christ thing? That he died? Yes?

Okay, so he died. He screamed out of the shadows of God’s abandonment, lived in pain and suffering and loneliness and betrayal. He felt the fragility and futility of humanity. He apparently loved us enough to go through that.

So why (the fuck) does God apparently need us to do something in order to have her grace? These are phrases I refuse to use:

• turn to the Lord to be saved
• give yourself to God
• on the path to finding God
• come back to the faith
• find the light

I believe instead that God found us. I refuse to believe that we have to do or say or promise something that will make God connect with us. That’s just plain bullshit. It’s words used to exploit those who feel lost so we can take them in to make ourselves feel better, get bums on seats, money in the boxes, filling out targets, turning people to our point of view.

And I reject the notion that life in Christ or in the Spirit is essentially a better life, because we can;t prove that. So far we can prove that we Christians have created a global south a dying planet and (in the past few weeks) a consumerist life of debt that has finally caught up with us. Whatever better life it is, it isn’t better yet.

And don’t tell me about heaven or hell. Sure there are biblical references, fires of Gehenna, Luke’s parables, talk about Paradise. But I really don’t think they’re enough to construct a flawless argument that there is another world we go to after we die, be it good or bad, dependent on the type of life we have had here. And if there is, then what was the whole fucking point of creating this world and placing us on it, forcing it on us. If God loved created the world and its inhabitants and loved them and blessed them and called them good, then why does she want us to go somewhere else? Not good enough? I would rather be happy believing that if God put us here then God put us here, and that’s enough to both worry about and celebrate.

So kick me out of the church if you don’t like it; wouldn’t want to be part of you anyway if you put classifications and conditions on the nature of human life and love and their worth to God. Because I believe they are the wonder of God. And if you don’t like the bi’s and the weirdoes and the burqas then don’t make me explain why I do. God is with them.

The fact you don’t embrace them, see them as part of God’s wondrous imagination, then you have explaining to do.

And one more thing: if one American president can ask “What would Jesus do?” and start bombing Iraq, then I can wear this fucking t-shirt, okay!?!

The Association of Internet Researchers annual conference is held 15-18 October in Copenhagen, and I’ll be there. Then on the 19th I’ll be in London, in Edinburgh on the 20th and 21st, and back in London on the 22nd and 23rd.

If there’s anyone out there who’s interested in catching up, let me know. I’d love to connect with people in the field of religion online, emerging church bloggers, etc etc.

This post begins a series on how to be a full-time PhD student while also working full time and being a single parent. This series may continue, maybe even to a logical conclusion. But, like most of my great ideas, it will either whither away in the back of my brain to die or force me to commit to something else I really don’t have time for. I will start with your workspace.

Now, your workspace is an expression of your mind. So it should be organised. So this is how my workspace looks. It’s important to have a space that nobody else uses, so you can leave the room knowing when you get back everything is where you left it   and you can start from where you left off and nobody gets hurt. A good idea then is not to leave the kids’ DVDs on your desk. Leads to a whole new kind of woe for the family.

Secondly, I have a pile of journal articles on the floor. It’s a good idea to read what you collect from online library and other data sources, and not just amass the information. I therefore try to keep the pile no higher than my son’s height. A good way to make sure of this is, either to read the bloody stuff, or not print it out at all but save it on your computer. I choose periodically to move the pile around, say like having some on the desk and stuff.

And lastly, always a good idea to have pics of your kids on the desk or on your putey’s desktop, so you can remember what they look like, so when they sneak up on you from behind when they’re hungry or bored you don’t do something you might regret. No, no. No need to call DHS just yet.